I have felt sexual my entire life.
Before I started masturbating, I would fantasize about a group of men touching my cunt, my breasts, my mouth and my anus.
I was 16 when I lost my virginity but I wish I'd lost it earlier.
I said 'no' to so many boys because I read that the first time would hurt and make me bleed.
But those things didn't happen to me -- it SLID right in.
And all I could think of was how many cocks I'd missed out on SLAYING.
At 18, I asked my elderly parents if I could pose for 'nudie' magazines (by myself and in sexual acts with other women).
I was fortunate enough to have liberated parents who believed in me and supported me in whatever I wanted to do.
With their support, by the time I was 20, I'd been --
A home-girl in picture mag
I'd done a tittie and arse feature shoot under a pseudonym for a UK Mag
I'd done a featured explicit sex shoot with another female. (eating her cunt that day for the shoot, still gets me off all these years later).
In the coming weeks, I will begin to post glimpses of my past on this blog.
I'm very proud of my past and every nude shoot, film and video I've ever done. I live my life in full awareness and with a fuckload of pride.
It does not take away from my intellect.
It does not take away from my writing.
It does not take away from my acting.
It does not take away from my education.
It does not take away from my abilities, skills or talents.
It does not take away from who I am as a human being.
Or how much success I can achieve as a woman.
It does not lessen my value as a person.
The only person who decides 'my value' is me.
The only person who defines 'who I am' is me.
Every day I face bias and censors.
Every day I face judgment and people looking down their nose at me for what they THINK I represent.
Every day I have to fight and scratch and arse-lick to have my words and voice heard in any publication.
And that's totally okay. Because I am living TRUTHFULLY. And whether they try and silence me or not, I will find a way to keep sharing my ideas, my opinions and what I know in my heart.
Sexual freedom and expression is a right for ALL women throughout the world. There are no rules. There are no rights or wrongs in how one empowers themselves. People that tell you otherwise are speaking HORSESHIT.
I'm a sexual woman living freely and I will continue to chronicle that journey through film, writing, poetry, acting, performance and art until the day I die.
So here's to that!
1. Film yourself masturbating. Then send it to his phone
I'm yet to come across any man who doesn't appreciate a video of a woman masturbating and coming. Not only is it fun to send to him. It's fun to film. Get creative! I use the film-camera on my phone. It does the job. (cough).
2. Hire an escort and watch him fuck her brains out
There's something incredibly hot about watching the man you love fuck another woman. If you have voyeuristic tendencies like me, then perhaps this would be a good Valentine's Day plan.
3. Give him breakfast and head
A jug of good coffee, a tray of pastries AND a blowjob. #winning
4. Give him an erotic massage and a handjob
I love giving erotic massages. They definitely improve intimacy. Candles, wine and sensuality. What a beautiful way to celebrate the day.
5. Visit a sex shop together and purchase some goodies
There are some stunning sex-shops around now. No seediness. It's so much fun going sex-shopping with a partner. You could buy dress-ups, bondage equipment, new vibrators, massage oils, paddles, a sex boardgame. The list is endless. Have fun!
If you live in Melbourne, I recommend Passionfruit: The Sensuality Shop on Bridge Rd, Richmond. I worked there in 2014. Beautiful store and beautiful owners!
6. Find a babysitter and have a child-free night
7. Wear red lipstick.
Red lipstick means business. I personally, wouldn't be caught dead at the letterbox without my red lipstick on...but that's just me!
8. Get drunk and make a porno
Oh my god. The fun, the laughter, the fucking. And if you're really brave, you could upload it to Pornhub or Redtube. Making homemade pornos is a blast!
9. Hire a five-star-hotel-room. Order room service, watch in-house movies and fuck like rabbits
I like sex in hotels better than at places of residence. It's a neutral space. Usually there's always some good fucking to be had... And it seems more special. Obviously that 'specialness' is contrived but who cares?
10. Give him a deepthroat blowjob using coconut oil and swallow his cum
You know what they say? Blowjobs are like flowers for men. I wrote an article about my love of deepthroat, you can read it here.
11. Instead of giving him a Valentine’s Day Card, give him a SEX COUPON which entitles him to any sex act that he wants
You can purchase a book of sex coupons at all sex shops or you can customise and download great ones online. Or why not make your own vouchers on your pc, then print them out?
12. Wear your sexiest lingerie
It's time to lose your grundies, grandma-pants and trackie dacks and exchange them for some lacy, feminine lingerie. Some of the online vintage stores sell beautiful 1940/1950 style pieces. They're just gorgeous!
13. Let him penetrate you vaginally with a vibrator
Toy play with a partner is so much fun. Don't let him have sex with you until he's given you 782 orgasms.
14. Don't wear panties
I haven't worn panties for 20 years. I hate underwear. I hate the look of underwear under dresses and skirts. I wore g-strings for a while but who needs their arse flossed!
I only wear panties in the bedroom or at 'that' time of the month. The rest of the time, I prefer a bit of breeze. It can be quite erotic for a guy to put his hand under your dress and find you knickerless -- try it!
15. Send him filthy text messages and nude selfies all day
Why not start the foreplay via text and multi-media messages on the morning of the 14th?
And by the night....(well if you're worth your salt at the art of tease, he should be putty in your hands).
16. Become his slave or master for the entirety of V-day
This one is so much fun! Meow
17. Spend the whole day in bed together, only leaving to get scoffs from the fridge
These kind of days are just the best, are they not? And you can prepare the room with fresh satin sheets, champagne on ice, oysters, aromatherapy oils. Yep, I've just sold it to myself. Thank you very much. :)
18. Take out the trash
This will give him a boner for sure!
19. Let him have your arse
20. Ditch Valentine’s Day, commercialism and consumerism. Instead, get sexy when you feel like it, rather than when you are told to by large conglomerates
Don't be dictated to. And don't listen to sex-bloggers who try and tell you what to do for Valentine's Day!
They’re all Donald Trumps.
The men who get away with sexual assault.
The men who walk around this world blemish-free amidst rape or sexual abuse accusations.
The men with famous names like Roman Polanski or Bill Cosby who are rewarded with more opportunities to sexually assault women.
The men who are gifted with an abundance of power and career advancement after the fact.
The men who are elected to be the President of The United States of America.
According to legal documents, Trump has been accused of raping a 13-year-old child and his ex-wife Ivana.
It’s also alleged that he attempted to rape a former business associate. Not surprisingly, Trump denies all accusations.
We live in a world that trivialises the rape and abuse of women. We contribute to the toxicity that is rape culture when we fall silent.
I fell silent about my rape for 17 years. I wore my rapist’s shame like a weighted cloak.
And no, my rapist wasn't Donald Trump. I was raped by a stranger. He has no name.
But a few years ago, I started to speak up and speak out. I no longer silenced my experience.
I wrote a novella-length book about my rape and I penned essays and articles for local and international publications.
As an Australian columnist, I’ve been given the space and platform for my voice to be heard. This is a privilege not available to everyone.
Especially, rape victims who also happen to be women of color, women with disabilities or seniors.
During a deposition in the early 90’s, Ivana Trump described how Donald raped her in a fit of rage.
The incident was made public in the book Lost Tycoon: The Many Lives of Donald J. Trump, penned by journalist -- Harry Hurt III.
Ivana would come out and amend her use of words later:
“During a deposition given by me in connection with my matrimonial case, I stated that my husband had raped me, “I referred to this as a ‘rape,’ but I do not want my words to be interpreted in a literal or criminal sense.”
In Ivana's statement, she added instead that she felt “violated”
In June 2016, a federal lawsuit was filed in the state of New York by “Jane Doe”.
Jane alleges Trump raped her in 1994, when she was just 13-years-old.
According to the lawsuit Trump tied her to the bed before sexually assaulting her.
The lawsuit also includes a statement from a witness “Tiffany Doe” who claims she personally saw the rape occur.
Anonymous “Jane Doe” sadly withdrew her lawsuit in fear of numerous threats.
Former business associate, Jill Harth filed a lawsuit in 1997, accusing Trump of making unwanted sexual advances and attempting to rape her.
Harth withdrew the lawsuit after Trump settled a separate lawsuit over a business matter with her romantic partner.
It's interesting how all three accusations were quashed. Women’s lives are being ruined but ‘white bread’ speaks.
Within days, America will have a new president. A president who likes to grab women by the pussy.
As a woman, a daughter, a sister, a rape survivor and a female artist.
I’m scared -- scared of the message this sends to women, men and the marginalized.
How many more rape accusations will Donald Trump vehemently deny during his presidency?
But, we shouldn't worry about it? Right?
Cause after all he's just a man.
Thanks for the wisdom Tammy Wynette!
Road Head makes my slit wet.
Forget picturesque scenery and melodic tunes.
I go on cunt-ry drives because I LOVE to chug on men's cocks whilst they drive moving vehicles.
As my head bobs up and down like a meerkat. My pussy dampens and tingles in approval.
It’s a lethal combination of being caught, being watched or being killed.
What a trifecta!
Over the years, I've clocked up mileage and learnt a great deal about 'giving head' in a speeding car.
Today, I'm sharing some of the lessons I've learnt.
TIE YOUR HAIR UP!
I have very long hair that is nearing my waistline.
If you have long hair as well -- put your hair in a ponytail or bun before participating in road head.
There's nothing worse than being a 'Cousin Itt' whilst hoovering a dick.
Your hair shouldn't be a concern. Clear your work space immediately.
UNZIPPED AND HARD
His dick should be like granite before you begin.
I give a handjob whilst fingering myself with my feet on the dashboard.
You don't wanna spend your time fussing with a zip or slack cock. That's moronic!
Being unprepared isn't 'road head', it's 'road kill'.
LAYER THE DRIVING CONSOLE WITH YOUR CLOTHES
Road Head extraordinaires know what I'm on about!
I've experienced bruising over the years through attending to men's erections in CARS.
On my tummy, on my pelvis and on my ribs -- ouchies!!!
Take your clothes off and cushion the driving console with layers, it will soften the blow, (pardon the pun).
You can thank me later!
Speed humps are problematic to the 'road head' enthusiast. They're an occupational hazard.
Just do your best not to swallow or injure his cock!
I'm a swallower. So wipe-up isn't a problemo for me.
But if you're not -- be sure to keep tissues in the glovebox when going on road adventures.
Otherwise there will be a BIG cloudy mess that you'll have to clean up . Meow.
To read Vanessa's other sex columns, click here.
Is there anything more stunning than an erect cock?
A glistening cunt runs a close draw, I guess!
I've written a ton of articles about my love of pussy but right now I just want to focus on dick. One only has to look at architecture and art history to witness phallocentricity.
For me -- erect penises symbolise promise, pleasure and pain. They symbolise the masculine. They symbolise safety and non-judgement.
There's plenty of literature about erections on the web.
How to produce them.
How to keep them.
How to lose them.
How to lengthen them.
How to control them.
But there are absolutely no articles about the 'beauty of an erection' which I find incredibly strange.
Is the texture, girth, scent and taste of cock only wondrous to me?
The way it inflates and expands in your hand when you squeeze it. The veins that protrude on the shaft when it's erect. The tear of pre-cum that sits on it's head before you wank it or deepthroat it. That's beauty -- unquantifiable beauty.
And how about when the penis goes from erect to flaccid and from proud to deflated? Isn't that transition one worth writing about? Isn't that transition worthy of awe?
I personally love the build-up you feel under the head of the cock before it ejaculates. I'm able to feel that build-up whether it's in my hand or orifices. It's so FUCKING sexy!
I've heard so many women say that penises are ugly. How can my own gender be so horrible? I feel ashamed. Can you imagine if that was said about a woman's cunt? There would be outrage. Men's sperm gets a bad wrap too and is discriminated against but that's another article!
One of my favorite Chinese erotic photographers Ren Hang, has such an appreciation for the cock and the erection. Ren Hang was recently interviewed by VICE and asked about the penises in his work. Ren Hang answered: "Erect penises are the most real and beautiful penises. People sometimes even forget they have a penis unless it's erect, which I think is very powerful." You can view Ren Hang's amazing photography here.
I feel better when I have a cock in my hand, mouth, cunt or anus and I don't say that to be humorous or shocking.
I find cocks calming. Each to their own I guess!
The perfection of the erection... Meow.
On Thursday, I spent the entirety of the day and night in my PJ's, curled up on the couch, reading Oriana Small's memoir Girlvert.
I read an article about the book online a few months ago and had been meaning to read it ever since.
The memoir chronicles Small's journey through porn as Ashley Blue.
After attending an open call for 'figure models' at The World Modelling Agency in L.A. Small learns on attendance that the agency is actually casting for porn movies.
The book is one of the most:
memoirs -- I've ever read.
Small does not hold back from discussing the ugliness and grotesqueness of sex. At times I literally had to stop reading and have a rest -- it was so repulsive.
Blood, vomit, shit, dick-cheese. There are no details spared. Yet you can't stop turning the page. That's what honest writing does, it commands you to continue reading.
Admittedly, I've always loved reading about the seediness and vulgarity of life. I connect with the authenticity of it. It wakes me up, shakes me up and makes me feel alive. Small's memoir made me feel alive again.
Towards the end of the book, Small refers to her filmography in porn as 'performance art' and I totally get that. Judgmental arseholes feel the need to belittle her large filmography in porn.
But the fact is any film medium demands performers to show up and put in the hours. (And one cannot begin to comprehend the mental, emotional and physical strength it takes to perform in hardcore porno's).
I haven't done porn but I do know what it's like to have my life's work disregarded. Over the last 20 years I've worked continuously on independent and low budget projects in film, theatre, TV and writing.
I've dedicated hundreds of hours to creativity in various art-forms -- often without pay. But because it's not mainstream or big budget. My work is considered less. Well it ISN'T less. It's my heart, soul, sweat, blood and cunt-juice.
Oriana Small gives everything to her work too.
She spent a portion of her life creating porn for others, which has given thousands-of-hours-of-pleasure to people all over the world.
And now she works as a professional writer and visual artist. This woman deserves respect!
Purchase Oriana Small's memoir here.
Check out Oriana's artwork here.
Being fucked by a group of men is what I call -- true beauty.
What an honour it is to gift orgasms to a beautiful feast of males.
What an honour it is to receive orgasms via a group dynamic.
Women who partake in group-sex with men are looked down-upon by society.
Women who partake in group-sex with women fare much better, in my experience.
Society assumes that ‘a woman’ couldn’t possibly choose to fuck a group of men.
"She must have been coerced!"
"She must be a victim of the patriarchy!"
This assumption is closely connected to the fallacy that women require emotional intimacy or love during sex.
This oppressive narrative repeats itself over and over in articles and columns.
People who are unable to think for themselves like to regurgitate popular viewpoints held by the vast majority. It’s easier -- it receives less resistance.
I LOVE to be fucked by groups of men because I like to experience what various cocks feel like inside my mouth, hands, arsehole and pussy.
I LOVE to be fucked by groups of men because MEN matter and their sexual pleasure matters.
I LOVE to be fucked by groups of men because I am their equal and group-sex feels good.
I LOVE to be fucked by groups of men because I have a very sexy 39-year-old body with pert titties and a tight cunt. Why shouldn’t my body be ravaged?
I LOVE to be fucked by groups of men because being filled up with multiple penises makes me howl like a bitch.
I LOVE to be fucked by groups of men because it’s a different dynamic to having sex with one man. And I’m into NEW experiences.
I LOVE to be fucked by groups of men because I don’t have to be inlove to give love.
I LOVE to be fucked by groups of men because when I open myself up physically. I open myself up mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
I LOVE to be fucked by groups of men because it provokes the exhibitionist in me.
I LOVE to be fucked by groups of men because I ADORE and RESPECT men and I want to gift them with a wealth of sexual pleasure.
I LOVE to be fucked by groups of men because having so many orgasms in one session should be fucking illegal.
I LOVE to be fucked by groups of men because I fantasize about them fucking me in groups ALL THE TIME. And life is too short not to make your sexual fantasies a reality!
Whenever a woman is degraded due to her love of group-sex, I get a sick feeling in my gut.
How dare these cunts speak for my beautiful and welcoming pussy?
How dare these cunts make assumptions about what I feel or think?
May the joyous nature of group-sex never be shut down or diminished.
Often I find myself in tears, like this morning.
Tears of frustration. Tears of defeat.
Black eyeliner running down my cheeks making me look like a sooty mess. I hug my pillow in my room and scream into it for release.
One is entitled to the freedom of sexual expression -- without being censored, controlled. I'm constantly told by everyone to water myself down, to not say certain things, to not express myself in certain ways.
Society demands me to be something that I am not. Society demands me to not only live a lie but to tell one.
I'm finding social media problematic. Pinterest removes my erotica constantly because an image has too much labia. And I'm currently banned from posting on Facebook for 24 hours because I uploaded a vintage photo of a woman being spanked by another woman. (see below).
It's art, it's photography, it's erotica -- it's beauty.
What is wrong with this beautiful photo? How does this photo hurt anyone? Erotic imagery and vintage porn adds to the world. It makes life better. It makes life livable. It breaks up the bland.
From what I can gather, the majority of the population only experiences and understands the surface level of sex. They are not interested in it's numerous layers or mountainous terrain. They are not interested in it's dark rooms or subtleties. To them, sex is like fast food -- cheap and accessible.
I have found erotic imagery so visceral, that I have sat quietly and absorbed it for hours. I don't even have to touch my cunt to get off on it. The visual stimulation is enough. It's the same with blowjobs, I can cum by giving a man a blowjob without any vaginal or clitoral stimulation. My sensory system is aroused via the experience.
I have so many issues with censorship which I'll explore in another post. But it seems the world is growing more conservative -- not less.
In 1926, Mae West wrote a play titled 'SEX' under a pen name 'Jane Mast'. And she cast herself in the lead role on Broadway. She was sent to jail for over a week and given a hefty fine for obscenity and corrupting the morals of youth.
When I went to New York in 2009, I bought some flowers and went to the cemetery to visit her grave. I should have done more research because on arrival, I was told her grave was in a chapel/abbey and I wasn't allowed in, only relatives or famous people could visit her. Then the lady suggested that I visit some dead American celebrity who I'd never heard of. WTF?
It may sound bizarre but I often wonder what Mae West would think of sexuality in 2016. She did so much work towards sexual liberation and like Anais Nin and Josephine Baker, felt sex deep within her core.
Society treats fierce female sexuality like an abnormality, a disease.
And I have so many tears.
I discovered a new artist tonight. The artist's name is Elisabeth Stienstra. She is the creator of the work above. I've spent many hours this evening mesmerised by her artwork. It got me thinking about the 'fullness of sex'.
What is the fullness of sex?
I googled fullness and the search mainly brought up 'fullness' in relation to Christ. (not what I was looking for).
I was looking for 'some art' or 'writings' in relation to the need of being filled up sexually.
How do we fill up sexually?
Why do we fill up sexually?
The dictionary defines fullness: as the state of being filled to capacity.
The dictionary defines full: as containing or holding as much or as many as possible -- having no empty space.
I crave fullness in my life.
in my mouth.
in my cunt.
in my work.
What drives this constant need to be filled up? To be stuffed by something outside ourselves?
I recently wrote an article about double penetration for Penthouse Magazine. I believe the reason I love DP so much is because I'm constantly craving to have no empty space. When everything is filled, I am complete and at my most content -- sexually and emotionally.
In August, artist duo New Scenario launched a project titled Body Holes which uses the human body as an art gallery. Nostrils, belly buttons, anuses, penises and vaginas become exhibition places. “If the body were a museum," they say, "there would be seven galleries.”
My favourite thing to be filled with is cock but I also accept tongues, fingers, vibrators, saliva, sperm, fruit, promises, champagne and love. Just fill me up and spill me over. Just cure me of my eternal emptiness and longing.
In my search for literature on the filling up of orifices. I discovered a book titled Libido:The French Existential Theories. It includes essays from philosophers such as Sartre speaking about sexuality and the filling up of orifices both physically and consciously. I will definitely purchase!
I derive so much from my interest in erotic art. It's another thing that flls me up and stuffs me.
Read an alternative version to this article in Penthouse Magazine
I’m a woman who loves double penetration and I make no apologies. There’s nothing more pleasurable than having my pussy and anus pounded simultaneously by two hard cocks.
Unfortunately, DP is a sexual act that is rarely discussed. Just type it into Google and all you will find are links to porn-clips. Where are the articles?
I was 19 when I was first double-teamed. To say that I was overwhelmed is an understatement. At that point in time, I was unaware that ‘sexual pleasure’ could reach such heights.
I’m now in my 30’s and have been DP’d numerous times. Why?
Because double penetration is the epitome of joy. It turns out that this sexual act is an orgasm-factory. Whilst they grind away at my orifices, I advance towards euphoria in a clouded daze.
I’ve decided to share my merriment below.
PARTY OF THREE
A woman’s body is the venue for double penetration. Her pussy and arsehole are the party-snacks. As a bloke -- all you have to do is RSVP and bring-your-own-erection.
Being chock-a-block-with-cock is the biggest turn-on. Your entire lower-body feels full to the brim. Once you have a penis in each orifice -- you’re not going anywhere. You’re at the mercy of two wolves who will hammer you unapologetically. It’s like being the prey of savages.
DP is a first-class flight to Utopia.
My thighs start shaking.
My cunt starts dripping.
My breath hastens and suddenly I’m squirting all over my intruders.
Usually the vaginal orgasms fire first, followed by the anal orgasms. I quite literally lose my mind -- you can see my brains sliding down the wall. There’s a violence about the pleasure of DP. It rips through your body like an electric current and all you can do is go with it -- until it concludes.
THE HUMAN DOUBLE-ADAPTOR
Pleasuring my sexual partners is of the utmost importance. There is nothing more arousing than hearing the moans of the two men who are currently plugged in. I’m yet to come across a man whose mind doesn’t dissolve to mush whilst participating in this act.
As a woman who is pro-dp, it disappoints me that this act has been left in the dark.
Shouldn’t we be discussing double penetration in a sex-positive way?
Shouldn’t we be promoting the orgasms DP causes for both genders?
I suggest all men and women try DP -- if only once. Below are my personal rules when it comes to the act:
I'll see you on the other side!
I love to inhale cock. I gag and I swallow.
But the wolves who receive my harvest -- are the wolves who munch on my minge. Minge-munching is an artform. It’s about diving in and getting soiled. It’s about munching so vigorously -- that she asphyxiates you with her thighs.
My kitty-cage is not a place where you can dump your junk -- then leave. It needs a pat. It needs your undivided attention. Eating pussy is a necessity in the land of fuck. It’s an invisible obligation. Master the cunt and you’ve mastered the woman. It’s simple maths.
Do you want to fuck a porn-star or a mattress with arms and legs? Blokes who don’t munch are doomed for the latter. Today I’m going to get my fingers wet and delve deeper into the pussy.
Real fucking deep. Soaking deep.
SMELL AND TASTE
Minge-munching should be a fine-dining experience. A bloke likes to sample the best poultry and seafood downunder. When a woman eats clean and has good hygiene -- a five-star seal of approval usually follows. When a restaurant establishes an exemplary hygiene rating. The pussy-taste-testers spread the word.
NEVER SPRINKLE ROSE PETALS ON A MAN’S SCAMPI
Note to all women: Pheromones are what allure wolves to your honey-pot not chemical sanitation. There’s only one place for fragranced vaginal sprays and that’s in the rubbish bin. Because a cunt is a cunt is a cunt.
Do you know what women want? They want to see you soiled in their pussy-juice. They wanna watch you having fun in the sandpit. So get out your bucket and spade and play. Get drowned. Get busy.
When I suck a dick, I literally get engulfed by my own saliva. Men don’t have to guess if I’m enjoying myself -- it’s very obvious. Make it OBVIOUS to us. Wear ‘our shine’ on your eyebrows. Parade our scent.
MINGE-MUNCHING IS TIRING
Yep, eating pussy is exhausting. But so is deepthroating a 10-inch-cock. So what’s your point? Good sex is a collaboration. It’s not one-sided. So stop being a pussy and get the job done.
FINGERS, LIPS, TONGUE, NOSE - ACTION!
If you want to be the ‘cunnilingus-king’ this side of the London post-office -- then I suggest you pull out all stops to excel. Fuck her pussy with your fingers. Motor-lick her clit until her legs are shaking. And don’t stop until she is pulling your head into her muff for her final release.
SLAUGHTER THOSE TINGLES INTO QUIET
Usually after clitoral orgasms via cunnilingus -- women will crave a g-spot orgasm to slaughter those tingles into quiet. You’ve done the hard yakka and now it’s time to fuck her mercilessly. Don’t hold back!
Here’s to the men of the world who love to eat pussy. You are kings. May your souls find a place in heaven and may your penises find a thousand sluts.
I've felt sexual for as long as I can remember.
I was fantasizing about groups of men touching me long before I started masturbating. I could feel their hands on my breasts, in my mouth and on the outside of my pussy.
I didn't touch myself but I moistened from these thoughts.
I was 16 when I lost my virginity but I wish I’d lost it earlier. There were so many cocks I would’ve liked to have felt deep inside of me.
I said ‘no’ to boy after boy because I read that the first time hurt.
It didn’t. It slid in.
I was petrified of giving a blowjob as well. But I liked it from the very first time. I liked the way it felt in my mouth and I liked the effect it had on my body.
How does a girl cope when she's been given a sexuality bigger than herself?
In my teens and twenties I channeled the energy in many ways -- via artistic expression, fierce promiscuity and rage.
All my life I've felt that other people feel ashamed of me for how naturally sexual I am. Sometimes it's subtle but mostly it's not. I'm made to feel dirty, cheap and lesser for simply being myself.
The sex-writing has helped me with my confidence. Ever since I began to own who I am -- the world has opened up to me. I know I'm on the right track because of how I feel inside.
The last five years have been the happiest of my life. I've created something from nothing. I didn't just trip over my 'sex-columnist gig' at Penthouse Magazine or my blog on The Huff -- I hustled and fought for them. Like I hustle and fight for everything.
In my thirties the biggest shock has been my sexual peak -- this bitch is one large MOTHERFUCKER. I thought I was in my sexual peak at 31, then 34, then 37. I'm now 39 and my peak is still ascending. I think about sex ALL day -- it's very distracting.
If a penis without a condom even looked at me, I would get pregnant. Fighting for a career whilst waving the 'childless by choice' flag is one thing. Fighting against biology and evolution is quite another!
Obviously I'm unable to have sex all day but shit, I'd love to give it a shot! Instead my sexual energy finds it's own way of expressing itself.
Recently I've returned to music. It's a wonderful outlet for unused sexual energy. I've decided to finish my certificates in organ and music theory, so I can teach when I move to London.
I'm also able to channel my sexual energy through my erotica collection.
Every day I spend two hours downloading erotica and pornography. I currently have
42, 000 images of labias, penises, nudes, pubic hair, arses, simulated sex, real sex, erotic models, vintage porn, french postcards...etc.
Viewing erotic imagery is definitely part of my creative process. I find it meditative. I find it gives me ideas for my articles and other creative pursuits. Like going to the gym. I view erotic imagery every day.
I'm lost and all over the place -- much like this blog-post.
I'm still trying to work my 'sexual self' out.
But the main thing is not to apologise or cower for my sacred journey.
I've got your back Vanessa. It's okay.
He was a wolf that was dressed in sheep's clothing.
Awkward. Shy. Gentle. Polite.
I would never have guessed...
I was 19 and he gave me my first bangover.
And then my second,
He went through me. All of me.
For entire days.
After he left, I would sit in bed -- cradling a cup of coffee and nursing my bangover.
My pussy would be so bruised, that it hurt to pee.
My hair would be full of fuck-knots.
My mouth would imitate 'lock-jaw' for all the hours he had fucked it like a cunt.
My body would ache from the marathon-pounding.
He gifted me with pleasure that I never knew existed.
He made me feel deliciously wanted yet used.
I've had an array of bangovers throughout my life.
But none compare to the ones he gave me.
In Memoriam :-)
Shit. I've just twisted a line from Shakespeare for the title of this post. But I'm sure the old Bard wouldn't mind!
For my entire adult life I've been free with my body.
I've done fine art shoots, professional fashion shoots and nude modelling shoots. I've been an artist's model for art classes and societies. I've been naked in a large array of films and participated in vanilla sex-scenes and bondage scenes.
I do this for myself. I do this because I want to fucking do it. I do this because I won't be told what I can and can't do with my body. I DECIDE!
I never demean or degrade myself. EVER. I never make choices based on the reaction of the male gaze. EVER.
I honestly couldn't give a fuck what people think of me. If I did -- I wouldn't write what I write for
The Huffington Post.
My life's foundation is based on pleasure. I like to do things that make me feel good.
Pushing boundaries, owning who I am and standing TALL -- that's POWER baby! Each woman decides for herself what she finds empowering or degrading.
I'm a natural exhibitionist and I also have an unapologetic sexuality. I will continue to express my sexual freedom right up until my death. So if I live to be old, I look forward to chronicling - wrinkles, lines, sags and bags.
I find it incredibly empowering to be able to express my sexual freedom and body freedom through different visual mediums such as photography and film.
Most people don't feel the need to record their body throughout different stages of their life, they prefer to keep their naked body private -- and I totally respect that. But I'm not one of those people! The world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. (Sorry couldn't help myself!).
I've never attached 'shame' to my body. Why be ashamed of something so beautiful and natural?
To thine own breasts be true!
Being a mistress takes a certain level of skill. It's not a role designed for every woman.
If you're a woman who is searching for love -- forget it, you'll get eaten alive!
If you're a woman who has morals -- mistresshood probably isn't the right vocation for you.
But if you are a shag-bag with a hankering for 'taken penis' -- then sign up HERE!
Historically being a mistress meant being a 'kept woman'.
Now that women are able to support themselves -- this is no longer the case.
Although -- financial, travel and domestic supplements often still exist.
Those who believe mistresses are degraded are missing the point. A mistress doesn't require his love or devotion. She's an entirely different animal. She craves his cock, spontaneity and freedom. She will never replace his girlfriend or wife nor is she interested in doing so.
RULES OF THE MISTRESS:
Rule Number One:
Never ask questions! The less you know the better. Don't ask about his wife, his home-life, his kids or his parents. There is no reason for you to know any of this. If you want to get to know something. Get to know what his cock feels like being shoved into your mouth.
Rule Number Two:
As long as you have a hole in your arse -- never EVER sleep with a friend's husband. Same goes with work colleagues. As Forest Gump said -- stupid is as stupid does.
Rule Number Three:
A mistress worth her salt never kisses and tells. She is as secure as a bank safe. When you feel like opening your big trap -- just remember it will be your undoing.
Rule Number Four:
DON'T FALL IN-LOVE WITH HIM. If you feel that you are -- RUN! Also this is a neon sign that you are not cut out to be a mistress. The perfect mistress is fairly ruthless. She enjoys the structure of the arrangement as much as he does.
Rule Number Five:
Make sure he turns his cell phone off when you catch up.
As MURPHY'S LAW will have it -- his wife will start vibrating in his pocket whilst he's eating your pussy.
You can bet your bottom dollar on it!
"Nothing wrong with a bit of bum-fun Nessa!"
My friend said, as we sat in a London pub knocking back pints.
It was 2009. A big year for me.
I'd spent a month studying acting in New York with famous film director Mike Nichols.
I'd been a guest at The Razor Reel Film Festival in Belgium.
I'd spent 3 months in London, trying to pick up acting work on The West End.
But bum-fun wasn't something I'd wrapped my arse around.
What is men's obsession with bum-fun?
Do all men want it ?
Does this mean they hate our vaginas?
Many women ask these questions.
This is my personal take on it ...
When I spoke to my friend about the trials and tribulations of anal sex.
I'd only experienced it in 2 ways:
I'd experienced it with an inexperienced boyfriend who thought he could just SHOVE it in.
I'd experienced it during DP (which I enjoyed...because I had other lovely distractions)
But all in all -- I wasn't a fan. (that changed.....!)
Why do boyfriends want my rear when I have a luscious fit cunt?
Apart from the fact that it's taboo, forbidden and tight....
Men like to dominate us ( is this such a bad thing? I quite like it!) :-)
They want to charter our unchartered territory.
It's a primal act. It doesn't lead to babies -- so it's purely sexual.
(Just be thankful that we don't have big ear-holes!)
I will leave you with a comment that I heard in a French doco a few months ago, on sbs.
"A woman will forget the lovers who fucked her vaginally but she will remember the names and addresses of the men who fucked her anally. "
Does a man conquer a woman when she submits to anal sex?
I was 14 when I first got fingered.
I can still remember the anticipation as his hand moved through my layers of clothing -- leisurely getting to my panties and pulling the silk across for access.
It was the best thing I'd felt in my life. My entire pleasure reliant on what he did with his digits. He stayed teasingly on the outside of my lips until I begged him to insert a finger.
The game continued.
He would go-to-town on my cunt with one finger until I begged him to insert another. I would writhe and buck until the contractions came. Finally -- contented emptiness.
He would pull his hand away, his digits shiny with my wetness. My relieved-self, hungry for our next session.
In our current climate, where porn is as accessible as candy. It seems we may have lost our thirst for simple pleasures. It's all about extremes like anal-sex and money-shots -- both are fun, I admit!
But let's not underestimate a good ole finger-fucking.
Finger-fucking is also about location:
Under the table at dinner in a packed restaurant.
On the back of a bus. (not that I'd know anything about that....)
While he's speaking to his girlfriend on the phone, (ride that digit) Just kidding.... or am I?
While your best girlfriend sits on his face
This is the stuff I live for -- PLEASURE!
Just fuck me with your fingers!!!!
I have a doctorate in self-love. :-) I know what my cunt needs. Masturbation is an art-form. I talk about this in my Huff Post article I Touch Myself and I intend to write about the subject more in future blog-posts.
It's a way to move forward for women -- spiritually and artistically. One rises through their sexual energy. (I believe this in my heart-of-hearts) Our sexual energy is the CORE of everything. EVERYTHING!
There is also a chapter dedicated to self-love in my erotic memoir Tantric Afternoons. If you know your own cunt -- you will be a better lover. It's a fact! How can you possibly tell someone else how to finger-fuck you, if you've never finger-fucked yourself?
One finger, two fingers, three fingers - FOUR.
PLEASE SIR PLEASE... may I have some more?
If you follow my Huff Post sex-blog and The Victress -- you would be well aware how much I write about penises and fellatio. Well, today I thought I'd slide off the beaten cock and talk about cunnilingus instead.
I love being eaten but the problem is, very few people have the skill. I think I've found three guys and one woman in the last fifteen years who actually know how to eat my cunt and make me scream. (One of the guys has since got married - ugh! - what a waste of cuntlicking-talent.)
It seems that people can be lazy when it comes to oral sex. (This goes for both fellatio and cunnilingus.) I spent much of my late teens and early twenties enduring 'wham-bam-thankyou-Ma'am' sex. When I departed girlhood and became a woman -- I nipped that in the bud real quick.
I'm not a vessel mate! If you just want to unload -- have a wank! I'm The Squirting Princess (see article) and I deserve attention and pleasure.
There's something amazing about being a woman in her 30's -- for me anyway. I know my body, I know my clit and I know what gets me off.
Getting to know myself through masturbation and toys has definitely made my sex-life better. Every time I masturbate I orgasm and every time I have sex, I orgasm. I have mastered my beautiful cunt. Orgasms aren't optional!
When I was 18, I was the passenger in sex -- I went along for the ride. At 38-years-young...It's more like.... "THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING". :-) :-)
It's good to note that the clitoris is the only human organ designed entirely for pleasure. So many partners spend their time licking between the lips and although that feels lovely. One really needs to get that tongue flicking at the clit -- which is up the top, front and centre.
I'm bisexual but I have a fetish for giving blowjobs. I can cum giving a man a blowjob without him even touching me. It turns me on that much!
Eating pussy -- I'm not as good at and I admit it. I find it much more physically tiring than dealing with a penis. So I do understand how some people never excel -- I'm one of them.
If you haven't heard of conceptual artist Sophia Wallace who created the term 'cliteracy' and did a wonderful Ted Talk. I urge you to google her work and watch the video. She's an incredible human being and artist.
I'm sexually intimate with men more than women. So I'm going to focus on cunnilingus with male partners for just a moment. I GIVE so much orally to men.
I've spent much of my life on my knees giving head. I do it because I love to do it. I love penises and I love giving men pleasure. But sometimes you boys need to lift your game and not be so selfish. Women deserve pleasure too.
So get down there and lick it, cos it aint gonna lick itself!
Group sex never fails to please in our fantasies. It's all about glistening orifices and bodies inextricably woven. Yet in reality, group sex is more complicated. It's no longer about licking and sucking or pounding and grinding -- it's about politics.
Group sex tends to make people ask questions:
Who loves who?
Who knows who?
Whose attracted to who?
Who possesses more attractive attributes than who?
Who performs better than who?
Who connects with who?
The list is endless and I could go on but I won't bore you. The questions mentioned above are enough to start WW3.
I love group sex and first experienced it in my late teens. It was clumsy and forgettable but I had a life ahead of me to explore it's beauty and poison.
My first poisonous group-sex experience came in my early twenties. I can't even remember how I met this couple but they were months away from getting hitched and quite a bit older than me.
We had several memorable sex-sessions. The nights would go something like this:
Copious bottles of red wine
Their Enya album
Their master bedroom
Whenever I hear an Enya song, I automatically think of group sex and flashes of our sessions come back to me. I think about the female of the couple particularly. To this day, I still remember how soft her skin was and no doubt my immature twenty-something-self learnt what sensuality was through her.
It all went to shit!
I found myself in a very uncomfortable situation. Caught between a woman and her soon-to-be-hubby. She felt that he was giving me more attention and that I was reciprocating. The 'once amazing' sex sessions of exploration and freedom had been replaced by tenseness, insecurity and false accusations. I cut ties with them but carried the lessons of that experience into my future.
It's important to point out that many couples don't explore threesomes, foursomes and orgies for the right reasons. Often one party is bored and group sex is a sure way to venture elsewhere without being labelled a cheater.
Usually there is one partner that wants to explore group sex more than the other. If you're the partner that is less into it and doing it to keep the home-fires burning, it can be a very traumatic and confronting experience.
I have gone in as the third wheel for many married couples and it can be emotive and not particularly fun. But when you get a couple that truly decide to let go of their hangups and be vulnerable -- it's the best. When I join a M/F couple. I usually direct all my energy towards the wife -- this seems to make the whole camp happy.
We all have limitations and it's important to be clear about what those are before any sex takes place -- otherwise things can get uncomfortable quick....and they do.
Sometimes I think a foursome works better than a threesome so nobody feels left out. Orgies of 5-plus are better again, (as long as you're safe). The more the merrier.
Heterosexual men more than often (in my experience) love two girls. I love to have threesomes with two heterosexual guys. We all have our boundaries and it's important to respect them.
If you are yet to venture into group sex. I would definitely be putting it on your bucket and fuck-it list.
I identify as a bisexual woman.
Bisexuality is as complex as gender itself. It's unique to the individual. The Oxford dictionary defines bisexuality as the sexual attraction to both men and women yet this definition fails to mention the romantic, emotional and spiritual attraction. Bisexuality tends to confuse, titillate or enrage. Most people seem puzzled as to how it works and this causes them to make uneducated assumptions.
“So you bat for both teams do ya? That’s pretty greedy but double the fun, I suppose!”
This is just one example of the type of social commentary a bisexual person may experience in Australia. Bisexuals are misunderstood, demonised, discriminated against and silenced. Many bisexuals feel like misfits in both the straight and gay world. Homosexuals often assume that bisexuals are really gay but in denial. This is often solidified by the fact that many homosexuals use bisexuality as a stepping stone whilst finding their own orientation. Straights often believe that bisexuality is a case of sexual confusion.
Controversial biologist and sexologist Alfred Kinsey developed the heterosexual-homosexual rating scale, (often coined ‘The Kinsey Scale’), in order to convey that people don’t necessarily fit exclusively into homosexual or heterosexual categories.
People demand clear-cut answers on bisexuality but bisexuality is anything but clear-cut. For instance, I am #1 on the Kinsey scale above. I’m predominantly attracted to males but would be open to entering a serious relationship with a woman. Confusing isn’t it? Welcome to the murky waters of what it means to be bisexual.
The saddest part of bisexuality is most bisexuals are closeted. Bisexuals don’t want partners to see them as incapable of monogamy or in a state of sexual confusion – so they basically live a lie.
Bisexuality is not represented on TV, (or rarely). When it is, they call it groundbreaking, see here and here. We see homosexuals on Australian television but where are the bisexual characters? Are they not represented because many perceive bisexuality as a form of deviancy rather than a valid sexual identity?
According to numerous studies, self-identified bisexuals make up the largest population in the LGBTI community in the US. No such studies have been undertaken in Australia but my guess is the result would be similar.
There seems to be a lack of voices and positive role models in the bisexual community – stars like Madonna, Lady Gaga and Angelina Jolie have all come out as being bisexual. I can't think of any Australian stars or celebs off the top of my head.
Bisexuals remain the silent and invisible minority and bi-erasure is alive and well around the world. I have no doubt that a large percentage of readers haven’t even heard of the term biphobia.
Which proves the point of this blog!
Figging is when you insert a piece of skinned ginger into your vagina or anus. It is a popular practice in BDSM circles throughout the world. Figging dates back to the Victorian era. The Victorians were a kinky bunch and you'll often find figging mentioned in Victorian literature and texts.
It's believed that figging began when a ginger finger was used in a victim's anus whilst being caned -- to prevent her from clenching her buttocks. When you clench, you feel a burning sensation.
I first heard of figging in an erotic novel and was eager to try it. Admittedly I haven't tried anal-figging but I have tried vaginal-figging. I haven't tried it with a partner. I've only explored it on my own.
I'm a big fan of using clitoral heating-oils during self-play and play with others. I first discovered them when I worked in a sex-shop. My personal favourite is ON. But there are other brands. You can grab a bottle in Australia for around $39! I often dab a bit on my clit after my shower in the morning. There's nothing better than standing in a bank queue with your clitoris on fire. Something might as well be on fire whilst you perform mundane tasks during your day.
I've digressed. Some other things that can be used on the clit to create sensations are chilli, ice or ginger. When I read the erotic novel that explored figging -- I was yet to try ginger on my clit. But it is absolutely gorgeous and I urge all women to give it a shot. I just purchase raw ginger from the supermarket. I peel it and cut a tiny slice (the size of a thumb-nail) and place it on my clit. Your whole female anatomy will heat up (take my word for it) and you will be ready to fuck or ready for masturbation. The juice of the ginger will get on your fingers, which is excellent for self-play.
I personally prefer using ginger as a clitoral heating agent. But when I have felt more hardcore and felt like breaking a pain threshold, I have inserted ginger vaginally. It's pretty intense. But I'm glad I've tried it and I dare you!
I do intend to experience anal figging in this lifetime when the right BDSM sesh arises. But I'm in no rush -- I'm actually scared. :-)
This blog was originally published on The Huffington Post.
I'm a screamer.
I like to be vocal during orgasm. If I don't scream, my head might explode and who wants my brains all over their wall?
Usually my vocality is met with excitement but not always. A few years ago, I was seeing a man who worked in the Australian Film Industry. I was at his house in 'the burbs' and we were going hammer and tong(s). I was halfway through a mind-blowing orgasm when he said:
"Can you keep the noise down. Put your head in the pillow or something."
I half-apologized. I think I was in shock. It dampened the mood but soon enough we were back in action. He was unlocking my secrets and waves of pleasure were engulfing my entire body. Without being conscious of it, I started to scream like a mad banshee -- this orgasm was a ripper. Suddenly the sex came to a halt and Mr. Film-Industry-Guy was walking over to the other side of the room.
"What are you doing?" I squealed, in utter confusion.
"I'm closing the windows. We can't have the neighbors hearing that."
"Who gives a fuck what the neighbors hear?" I shot back bitterly.
"I do." He muttered.
Our sex session was over. Our fling was over too. His words chorused in my head for weeks after the event. "We can't have the neighbors hearing that."
"That?" As in my orgasm? Yes, god forbid if the neighbors heard that. A woman enjoying herself sexually -- what a scary thing! Much worse than war or evil advertising. I was angry because he had oppressed me. He had stifled my pleasure and self-expression.
Women are silenced in a multitude of ways. I've repeatedly been told to shut-it during PMT and menstruation. There are religious cults such as Scientology which require a woman to have a silent childbirth. This is way beyond my comprehension and is abuse of women to the umpth degree. Just because a form of abuse is filed under 'the umbrella of religion' doesn't make it less abusive. But most of all, women are silenced throughout their everyday lives, in all areas.
"Down girl, down!" This is how one of my writer-friends beautifully termed 'the silencing' recently.
I have a right to vocally express myself when I'm feeling intense sexual pleasure. If you're a guy that has a problem with that -- you're an arsehole!
Secure your crystal glasses boys because I'm feeling sexual pleasure and I'm about to SCREAM!
THIS ARTICLE IS THE SEQUEL TO THE BLOWJOB ARTIST PUBLISHED ON THE HUFFINGTON POST.
Those offended by oral sex, crass descriptions and satire are advised to leave the blog now.
The 'common blowjob' is joyous but the 'deepthroat blowjob' is spectacular. I'm a deepthroat diva. I've spent many hours on the sausage, breathing through my nose. Below are some tips that I've learnt along the way.
Have him standing whilst you lie on your back with your head hanging off the edge of the bed. This works best for most penises in my experience.
DIFFERENT PENIS, DIFFERENT TEMPLATE
Every penis is unique in size, shape and sensitivity. So you adjust the template to suit the man. The goal of deepthroat is to get a gag-free pathway, this means finding the right angle.
PRACTICE MAKES DEEPTHROAT DIVAS
If you're starting out in deepthroat-land, I advise that you take it really slowly. Deepthroat can make you gag and in some instances it can make you vomit. Don't feel ashamed about the latter, it's normal and common. You're best to start off with smaller-sized penises/dildos before tackling super-size. But once you've mastered your craft, you'll be slaying ten-inch beasts in no time.
Deepthroat should be reserved for those special men in your life. Men that respect you. Men that have patience with you. Men that treat you like the Diva that you are. Deepthroat is a five-star experience which is unavailable to misogynist arseholes.
Each to their own but I require ambiance. This is not a porn scene. I need to be turned on. I demand comforts, music, alcohol, the trimmings. No mood. No deepthroat!
I don't use lubrication for deepthroat but many women swear by it. Coconut Oil or flavored lubricants are my suggestion.
A TWO-WAY STREET
Women often complain that their men don't want to 'dine at the Y'. Oral sex is a two-way street ladies! Like the old adage says -- 'you get what you give'.
I am a sex-positive woman. I NEVER involve myself in sex-acts that I don't enjoy. I LOVE pleasure and MY pleasure matters. Vibrators are a fantastic accessory to oral sex. It takes some serious multi-tasking but if you can pleasure yourself whilst deepthroating him. You are both going to be a 'beautiful mess' by the end of the journey.
You need to hold your tongue at the bottom of your mouth to make this work. Once you feel comfortable and your throat is chock-a-block-with-cock, you will find that you're able to use your tongue minimally to swipe and arouse. Controlled breathing comes in handy here otherwise it could end in 'death by deepthroat'.
Signs of a true deepthroat diva is the beautiful messiness of it all. Deepthroat should make your eyes water and your saliva gush. Whenever I indulge in the sport, I have tears streaming down my face and an ocean of my own saliva trying to drown me. It's an art-form. It's part of the process, enjoy it!
Perhaps I should have talked about the grand finale earlier on. You need to work out logistics of his climax before you begin. If your sex-partner is wearing a condom (which in many cases he will be), it's not such a huge issue. But if he is without a rubber, you have to decide where you want him to ejaculate.
Deepthroat tends to make men lose their minds and lose control. So decide the outcome early in proceedings. If you don't feel comfortable with him ejaculating in your throat, you could ask him to ejaculate on your breasts or face. Whatever causes excitement for you.
I hope this blog post has helped somewhat. I wish I'd been more knowledgeable when I began my deepthroat journey many penises ago.
Every sexually-liberated woman has dealt with the chilled breeze that blows off a prudish woman's icicles. Prudish women are the chief oppressors - they oppress through shaming, judging and labeling women who are different to them. Their attitudes cause their female victims to feel shit about themselves, giving the poisonous prude delusions of grandeur.
I don't have an issue with women who are sexually reserved. I respect their choices. I don't have an issue with women who are prudish due to their faith. I respect their choices. I don't have an issue with women who don't feel the need to express themselves in a sexual manner. I respect their choices. But I do have an issue with prudish women who don't respect mine.
It is a fact that prudish women try to make me feel inferior because I embrace my sexuality. Prudish women are generally self-righteous and like to prance about with 'a holier-than-thou' attitude.
Feminism should be about empowering and supporting women; prudishness is negative and only ever causes division. Female prudes only strengthen our patriarchal society. Until women can do what men do in all areas and without judgment - we will never achieve equality.
The most dangerous element of prudish behavior is that it's often based on assumption. I found this out at age 11. I refer to the incident in one of my published poems titled 'Child Sex-Doll'.
I was an early developer. I had men whistling at me from cars and building sites from the age of eleven. Because of my voluptuousness, adults (mainly women) would assume that I was sexually active when I was just a child; these incorrect assumptions led them to labeling and shaming me. Below is an excerpt from the poem mentioned:
Shaming female adults is bad enough but shaming children and teen-girls is just so hateful. It chips away at their innocence and self-esteem.
I'm a big girl now and I've finally learnt how to deal with these type of women. I don't react by being a bitch. I react by writing an article, a book, a poem or a blog post. I paint a picture, I star in another sex-positive film or photo-shoot. I enjoy the best sex. I choose fun, joy and happiness. I will not be oppressed by other women's disapproval of me.
You see, the best form of revenge is to live courageously, loudly and free. Let them spit spite from their cages because in my lifelong experience, prudish women are cunts!
The Blowjob Artist was originally published on The Huffington Post, see here
(Please note: I do not condone or promote unsafe sex practices. Each individual is responsible for looking after their sexual health within the context of their circumstance).
If giving a blowjob is a chore to you, I'm here to tell you that you're doing it wrong. Blowjobs should be a joyous experience for both the giver and receiver. Fellatio does not have to be a one-way street.
To become a skilled blowjob artist, you have to be willing to hone your craft. This means many hours hovering over an erect penis. Enjoyable oral sex, (both fellatio and cunnilingus) contributes to a healthy sex life.
Nothing makes me feel more empowered than having a man's sword in my mouth. My mouth is his master. Blowjobs are not degrading to women, actually the opposite is true! When a woman wraps her mouth around a man's member, she has the power. Here's a list of things that I've learnt whilst honing my craft as a blowjob artist.
NOTE TO SELF: I must remember to add "Blowjob Artist" to my resume.
ALWAYS WORK ON A CLEAN CANVAS
The subject should always be freshly showered and scrubbed from head to toe. Good hygiene is paramount for explorative oral sex.
GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES
I always get my lovers to stand whilst I kneel in front of them. I do believe this is the best position to perform fellatio.
LOOK NO HANDS
If you are a true seductress, your lover should have a hard-on before you unzip him. I like to get my subjects into such a state, that by the time I get to their manhood, the job's half done.
I suggest you blow him with no hands. What do I mean by no hands? Don't handle his john, put your hands behind your back and do all the work with your mouth. I am yet to find a man that isn't excited by the no-hands technique.
ALTERNATE NO HANDS TECHNIQUE
An alternate no-hands position is seating him in an arm chair. Put one of your hands on each armrest, lifting and lowering yourself as you fellate, think push-ups. Believe me it's hot and gets the job done pronto.
Each artist has their own way of creating art, but I don't do anything with my hands that can be done with my tongue. Hands come in handy when you need to come up for air, a gentle hand-job whilst you catch your breath can be a lifesaver.
BLOWJOBS WITH A CONDOM
Latex tastes horrible. When giving a blowjob with a condom use a flavored one. Blowjobs with a condom do not have to suck (pardon the pun.) Make it fun; put the condom on his manhood with your mouth. For info on how to do this, visit Sir. Google, not Sir. Gurgle.
BLOWJOBS WITHOUT A CONDOM
One can really exhibit their artistry here. Confidence is key. Don't just kneel there and wait for direction. Take control. Ravage it. Enjoy it. Suck that joystick like your life depends on it. How can you possibly get yourself promoted to the prestigious position of "The Blowjob Artist" if you don't show enthusiasm?
I may be taking feminism back a hundred years but gagging is sexy to most men. They like to see you choking on them. I like to see a man choking on my vagina too, so all is fair in love and war.
TO SPIT OR TO SWALLOW, THAT IS THE QUESTION
I prefer swallowing because I'm naughty, but many women find the taste of semen puke-worthy. Pineapple juice is your answer. Pineapple juice and apple juice sweetens the taste of semen and this is a fact. Plus if you are on a diet, an ejaculation only contains around 20 calories. You can swallow and still remain trim. Go figure!
Some women know their way around a kitchen and others know their way around a career. I blissfully know my way around a penis. Practice makes perfect. I am an advocate for sex-positive attitudes. I am an advocate for blowjobs that can be enjoyed by the giver and receiver. I am an advocate for women embracing their fierce sexualities without shame.
My name is Vanessa and I am a blowjob artist.
About The Victress
The Victress is a blog primarily dedicated to feminist issues and fierce female sexuality. It is run by Vanessa de Largie.
The Victress may be many things but she is always victorious, valorous and volatile.
Thanks for visiting. Come back soon. xx