For me, living an authentic life is my priority.
For years, I pushed my sexuality down.
Yet time and time again -- it would resurface.
I was terrified that if I let the world know how SEXUAL I am.
I would be punished.
I was right.
Since revealing my sexual self to the world.
I've lost friends and family members.
Fierce female sexuality SCARES the crap out of people.
It makes people feel uncomfortable.
That's what thousands of years of repression does.
Women attack me within the safety of their mobs.
Men deal with me by turning into awkward, giggly boys who have just discovered their dicks.
It's horrible to be the girl who makes people act strangely by BEING AUTHENTICALLY HERSELF.
But do you know what would be FAR worse?
Fitting in with a bunch of dishonest fakes!
how do people deal with sexual shame?
I'll tell you...
They project it on to sexual women like me.
SHE'S A SLUT
SHE HAS PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES
SHE'S A SYMPTOM OF PATRIARCHAL CONTROL
HER SEXUALITY IS THE RESULT OF HER RAPE & SEXUAL ABUSE
SHE HAS NO SELF ESTEEM
HER NAKED BODY AND ARTICLES TURN ME ON. SO I WILL DEGRADE HER FOR MAKING ME FEEL LUST.
But the comment I hear the most is...
"You don't need to act like this Ness, you're intelligent."
As Bridget Phetasy boldly states in her column for Playboy Magazine:
"Being naked and smart isn’t mutually exclusive."
A woman can be intelligent and overtly sexual.
A woman can be intelligent and enjoy sucking cock.
A woman can be intelligent and nude.
A woman can be intelligent and enjoy giving men pleasure.
I'm a creative girl.
But what is creative energy?
It's sexual energy!
My writing, my acting
-- everything I do --
comes from my sexual core.
MY sexual CORE is my cunt.
Without my cunt
there would be no
sensual photo shoots.
My cunt is my creative powerhouse.
I wake up EVERY morning soaking wet and wanting to fuck. That's how my day begins.
From there, I make coffee and start creating and more juice is produced...both on the page and in between my thighs.
People worry about what I'm doing...
Look within yourself and ask these questions:
Why does Vanessa's work upset me so much?
Why am I so offended?
Why do I want to pull her down?
Why does she make me so angry?
Why do I send mean emails to her?
Why do I leave nasty comments on her blogs and articles?
Why do I spread untrue rumours?
Why do I feel the need to judge her life choices?
How do her life choices affect me personally?
I'm guessing your answers will reveal your own sexual repression and shame.
I once was sexually repressed.
Most people are.
That's why I do what I do.
I hope to be a Mother in the next 5-6 years. And I want my son to have a deep respect and understanding of fiercely sexual and promiscuous women.
I want my daughter to stand proud in her sexuality and to follow her carnal desires without shame or apology.
Overt sexual expression may not be the right choice for others but it's definitely the right choice for me.
I own it with EVERY part of my being.
And just when you think you've SHUT ME DOWN with your mob rule.
Like a fucking flower ...
that shoots through a crack in the cement.
I will blossom and RISE
to kiss the sun.