DON'T CALL ME BABY!
Don't call me baby, babe, babes or babez. It's revolting and cringeworthy and makes me want to put a chainsaw to your cock. SEX QUESTIONS Do not ask questions in the bedroom. You're a man aren't you? Well, fucking LEAD! MY CUM IS AS IMPORTANT AS YOURS Sex is about us BOTH climaxing. Not just you. Do not come near me unless you're into sexual equality in the bedroom. THE SILENT CLIMAX Men that silently orgasm...what's with that? Are you dead inside or what? I've got vibrators that are silent and they don't snore afterwards. Be vocal. Express your enjoyment for fucks sake! NARCISSISM Men that spend more time in front of the mirror than me. Forget it! BOTULISM Men that have botox! Gross. Biggest turn off ever! Give me laugh lines and character. SO YOU HAVE A BIG COCK? Reality check: You can have the biggest cock in the world. But if you don't have intelligence, a sense of humour and a soul. I really couldn't give a fuck! INFLEXIBILITY Inflexible men -- MASSIVE MASSIVE TURN OFF. I am spontaneous, impractical, illogical and disorganised. I prefer not to make plans too far in advance. I live my life moment to moment. If you are into 'structure' 'strict schedules' and 'routines'. We are going to clash. I like open plans and room for movement. I CANNOT stick to schedules. They are like a fucking cage to me. I need flexibility. I'M A COCKSUCKER If you DON'T like fellatio. It's over before it's begun. Please don't waste your time. This is a huge part of my sex life. Non negotiable. BACHELORS WITH NO IDEA Some men wonder why they don't get any pussy. Perhaps it's your bachelor pad? I wrote an article about this for The Huff Post. You can read it here. If your pad is unfit for a woman. You're not sticking your dick into me! I'M A SCREAMER. GET OVER IT! Never and I mean NEVER tell me to be quiet when I orgasm. It's a form of abuse. If you're one of these men, who silences women when they cum. You're an oppressor of female pleasure and you should be ashamed of yourself. I have been humiliated by men because of my vocal orgasms. I wrote an article about it for The Huff Post. REAL MEN are chuffed when they can make a woman scream and they couldn't give a shit if the neighbours hear. THE ANNOUNCEMENT Why do men announce when they are going to cum? All guys do it. It's bizarre. Is it a territorial thing before you drop your seed? Stop being a git and just blow. No announcements are necessary during sex with me. Thanks. MEN WHO FEEL WEIRD WHEN A WOMAN HELPS THEM I recently tried to help a man with a creative pursuit through some contacts that I have overseas. And instead of being open and grateful. He became really awkward that I (a mere woman) was trying to help him. If you're a man that can't accept help from a woman -- you need to look at that because it's a weak trait. It's also a total turnoff. Needless to say, I have ceased contact with him. MEN WHO TALK ABOUT MONEY ALL THE TIME I've lost count of how many lunches I've sat through with groups of male corporates, bored out of my brain -- whilst they talked about money. Men LOVE talking about money!! I wasn't born with a money-mindset I'm afraid. Every time I think of an entrepreneurial idea to create wealth. I research the work it would require and I lose interest. Why would I spend time pouring energy into business shit, when I could be focusing on my art? I mean no doubt wealth is a form of abundance and it must be fabulous to have coin. But it's not what drives me, so I find it really really boring. Actually, I would rather sit and watch paint dry. Major turnoff!
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