This blog was originally published on The Huffington Post.
I'm a screamer.
I like to be vocal during orgasm. If I don't scream, my head might explode and who wants my brains all over their wall?
Usually my vocality is met with excitement but not always. A few years ago, I was seeing a man who worked in the Australian Film Industry. I was at his house in 'the burbs' and we were going hammer and tong(s). I was halfway through a mind-blowing orgasm when he said:
"Can you keep the noise down. Put your head in the pillow or something."
I half-apologized. I think I was in shock. It dampened the mood but soon enough we were back in action. He was unlocking my secrets and waves of pleasure were engulfing my entire body. Without being conscious of it, I started to scream like a mad banshee -- this orgasm was a ripper. Suddenly the sex came to a halt and Mr. Film-Industry-Guy was walking over to the other side of the room.
"What are you doing?" I squealed, in utter confusion.
"I'm closing the windows. We can't have the neighbors hearing that."
"Who gives a fuck what the neighbors hear?" I shot back bitterly.
"I do." He muttered.
Our sex session was over. Our fling was over too. His words chorused in my head for weeks after the event. "We can't have the neighbors hearing that."
"That?" As in my orgasm? Yes, god forbid if the neighbors heard that. A woman enjoying herself sexually -- what a scary thing! Much worse than war or evil advertising. I was angry because he had oppressed me. He had stifled my pleasure and self-expression.
Women are silenced in a multitude of ways. I've repeatedly been told to shut-it during PMT and menstruation. There are religious cults such as Scientology which require a woman to have a silent childbirth. This is way beyond my comprehension and is abuse of women to the umpth degree. Just because a form of abuse is filed under 'the umbrella of religion' doesn't make it less abusive. But most of all, women are silenced throughout their everyday lives, in all areas.
"Down girl, down!" This is how one of my writer-friends beautifully termed 'the silencing' recently.
I have a right to vocally express myself when I'm feeling intense sexual pleasure. If you're a guy that has a problem with that -- you're an arsehole!
Secure your crystal glasses boys because I'm feeling sexual pleasure and I'm about to SCREAM!
About The Victress
The Victress is a blog primarily dedicated to feminist issues and fierce female sexuality. It is run by Vanessa de Largie.
The Victress may be many things but she is always victorious, valorous and volatile.
Thanks for visiting. Come back soon. xx