Europe. An erection. Ice cubes. Restraint. The sound of someone pounding away on a typewriter. Figs. Hands. Dual masturbation. Vintage pornography. Anchovies. The smell of rain. An unmade bed. Nature. Art. Winter. Bookworms. The male anatomy. Violence. The forbidden. The illegal. A kiss on the neck. The taboo. Semen. Rope. Risk. The scent of female arousal. A man's belt. Libraries. Traditional Jazz. Duct tape. Oysters. A blindfold. A chaise lounge. Seamed stockings. Opera. Classical music. Spontaneity. A man that has ideas. Polka dots. Pin stripes. Marble surfaces. Custard. Italian (the language) Fedora hats. Confidence. Clawfoot bathtubs. The word 'yes'. Large vocabularies. Phallic architecture. Freedom.
Favourite sexual position?
Rain or Sunshine?
Spit or swallow?
What do you do when you get horny in public?
I carry a bullet vibrator with me always. It fits into my purse. I usually find a ladies restroom and relieve myself.
Men that drive sports cars. It usually equates to a wanker with a tiny penis.
eBooks or traditional books?
What do you hate?
How do you hope to die?
With a cock in my mouth.
Your dream car?
A pink v-dub
Your dream holiday destination?
Vietnam. It's beautiful there. Such a rich and soulful place.
What would you name your son if you had one?
If you could meet two people from history (dead or alive). Who would you meet?
Mae West & Marilyn Monroe.
Both sexually progressive/evolved before their time.
What are the strangest props you've used to get yourself off?
1. A microphone
2. In 2000. I found myself on a farm in country Victoria without a vibrator or a man. I had to get creative. I sculpted the perfect penis out of a potato using a knife and a vegetable peeler.
It was a work of art. :-)
What's your nastiest sexual fantasy?
Two words: War Soldiers
What excites you?
Lust A blank page An unopened bottle of red wine Travel
Finish this sentence. I wish...
I was British.
How old do you think you'll be when you get married?
At this rate? 94.
I keep waiting for Prince Charming to ride in on his white horse and raise his sword. I think he must have got killed in battle.
Plenty have raised their swords but they weren't on horseback.
Favourite state in Australia?
Tasmania. I first went there in 2002 as a performer for Ag-Fest. And I've returned every couple of years since. It's a writing paradise and it's so picturesque. I've cycled it. Hiked it. Walked it. Sailed it. There's a place called Opossum Bay in Tassy . A piece of my soul lives there.
I have one tattoo. It's on my inner right ankle. It says: Val Dallas Kai-Lani
Val is my mother. The other two names are nobody's business but my own.
What is your favourite erotic novel?
The Ties That Bind by Vanessa Duries
What upsets you?
People that knew my parents often say to me: "What would your Mum and Dad think?" They mean in regards to the vulgarity of my work.
Mum and Dad would be very proud.
Men are allowed to be uncouth, vulgar, un-pc and larrikins. Why can't I be? Because I have a pussy?
Your two favourite movies?
1. Pretty Woman
2. Imitation of Life
The first one is about a whore. The second one is about an actress in her 40's who becomes successful late in life. Says it all really!
The filthiest book you've ever read?
Girlvert: A Porno Memoir by Oriana Small
Forget Catherine Millet and Anais Nin. Oriana Small blows them out of the water. This book is so fucking brave and so unbelievably filthy. I've never quite recovered. I hope I can write a book as amazing one day.
Most memorable travel experience?
In 2008, I was walking through a forest in Kyoto (Japan) to the temples and this feeling of 'inner peace' washed over my entire body. I've never experienced anything like it before or since.
Are you scared of death?
I'm not scared of death as such. But I'm scared of dying before my dreams have been fully realised.
Attractive qualities in a man?
Intellectual. Kind. Sharp wit. And it helps if he looks good in a winter overcoat.
Sex. Coffee. Writing.
Biggest life lesson?
That everything is temporary!
Where do you want to be in 5 years?
I want to be financially secure. Living permanently in London. Still, writing columns for magazines and newspapers. Regularly working in the acting industry in London. And hopefully I'll become a mother.
If you became a millionaire overnight. What would you do?
Scream very loudly
Start a brain cancer foundation in honour of my late Mother that raises money for research into glioblastomas
Produce the feature film that I've written and star in it
Buy an apartment in London and Melbourne
Attend a British Drama School
Fund my own art
Contribute to Australian aged care in a way that was beneficial to their happiness and quality of life.
I'm a tennis addict.
Four things you strongly oppose?
Capital punishment White guilt Palliative care Euthanasia
Favourite item of clothing?
Winter coats. Often I'll wear nothing underneath them. Coats make me feel glamorous and sexy.
The song to be played at your funeral?
My Way. Frank Sinatra.
Have you done any extreme sports?
Yep, I skydived in 2010. Nothing is scary after you've jumped out of a fucking plane!
Post Office by Charles Bukowski
What is the one singular thing you're most grateful for?
My creativity. And I have my parents to thank for it.
I was encouraged from a very young age to engage in artistic pursuits. Mum and Dad forked out a lot of cash for all my training and classes.
But it's not about the money they spent. When you're encouraged from the age of 3 to be creative -- it becomes you.
I'm indebted to them.
All rights reserved: Copyright: Vanessa de Largie 2018.