Why does a woman have to defend her right to be a sexual being?
I don't see men having to defend their right. We talk about gender equality but when it comes to sex, it's the male prowess that reigns supreme. It's widely accepted that men watch porn. It's widely accepted that men like a variety of vagina's. When a man sleeps with a string of women - he is glorified, he is a stud, a beast - a God.
Women are as much to blame for this phenomenon as men. Only a few days ago, I read an article by a respected female journalist who stated that women attach emotion to sex (speak for yourself). She went on to use this fallacy throughout her article to support men and take women back to a time of buttons and bows.
Women spend much of their time degrading other women for their choices. Most women consider females who choose sex-work, stripping or porn as a means of employment - unequal. Yet they deserve the same respect as mothers and saints. Feminism is supporting a woman's right to choose - whatever that may be.
In recent years, I've had several books published. I've written about my sex life in a memoir and I've released a collection of unapologetic sex-poetry. On top of this, I've written about my journey through sexual assault, domestic violence and abortion. I have written honestly and openly. To thine own self be true.
There has been copious amounts of support but I have also been judged, vilified and dismissed. I'm not entitled to be intelligent and sexual. I'm not allowed to be a survivor of abuse AND a sex-positive woman. I am condemned to play the victim role for eternity.
I control my sexuality. I DECIDE. I say who, I say when, I say how many. I have an amazing exploratory sex life and will continue to do so.
There is nothing criminal about a woman enjoying sex.
There is nothing criminal about a woman having hundreds of lovers.
There is nothing criminal about women discussing the intricacies of sex in literature.
I explore my sexuality through film, art, photography and writing. Don't splash your prejudice and religion on me. Don't try to make me feel bad for something so humanly natural.
You want me to hide what is between my legs? Well...FUCK YOU!
I am a human being first and a gender second.
My name is Vanessa de Largie and I'm the sex-columnist at Maxim Magazine. The Victress is my sex blog. You won't find political correctness or romantic bullshit here.