On Thursday, I spent the entirety of the day and night in my PJ's, curled up on the couch, reading Oriana Small's porn memoir Girlvert. I read an article about the book online a few months ago and had been meaning to read it ever since. The memoir chronicles Small's journey through porn as Ashley Blue.
After attending an open call for 'figure models' at The World Modelling Agency in L.A. Small learns on attendance that the agency is actually casting for porn movies.
The book is one of the most:
memoirs -- I've ever read.
Small does not hold back from discussing the ugliness and grotesqueness of sex. At times I literally had to stop reading and have a rest -- it was so repulsive. Blood, vomit, shit, dick-cheese. There are no details spared. Yet you can't stop turning the page. That's what honest writing does, it commands you to continue reading.
Admittedly, I've always loved reading about the seediness and vulgarity of life. Whether it’s Bukowski’s beer-shits or Miller’s dry-cunted women. I connect with the authenticity of it. It wakes me up, shakes me up and makes me feel alive. Small's memoir made me feel alive again.
Towards the end of the book, Small refers to her filmography in porn as 'performance art' and I totally get that. Judgmental arseholes feel the need to belittle her large filmography in porn. But the fact is any film medium demands performers to show up and put in the hours. (And one cannot begin to comprehend the mental, emotional and physical strength it takes to perform in hardcore pornos).
I haven't done porn but I do know what it's like to have my life's work disregarded. Over the last 20 years I've worked continuously on independent and low budget projects in film, theatre and writing.
I've dedicated hundreds of hours to creativity in various art-forms -- often without pay. But because it's not mainstream or big budget. My work is considered less. Well it ISN'T less. It's my heart, soul, sweat, blood and cunt-juice.
Oriana Small gives everything to her work. She spent a portion of her life creating porn for others, which has given thousands of hours of pleasure to people around the globe.
Oriana now works as a professional writer and visual artist in LA. This talented woman deserves our respect!
Being fucked by a group of men is what I call -- true beauty.
What an honour it is to gift orgasms to a beautiful feast of males. What an honour it is to receive orgasms via a group dynamic.
Women who partake in group sex with men are looked down upon by society. Women who partake in group sex with women, fare much better in my experience. Society assumes that 'a lady' couldn't possibly choose to fuck a group of men.
"She must have been coerced!" "She must be a victim of the patriarchy!"
This assumption is closely related to the fallacy that women require emotional intimacy or love during sex. This oppressive narrative repeats itself over and over in magazine articles in the mainstream. Female columnists that are unable to think for themselves regurgitate popular viewpoints held by the vast majority. It's easier, it receives less resistance.
Whenever a woman is degraded due to her love of group sex, I get a sick feeling in my gut. That's what thousands of years of sexual repression does. How dare society place judgment on my beautiful and welcoming pussy. How dare you make assumptions about what I feel or think.
May the joyous nature of group sex never be shut down or diminished.
All photos used in this blog post are by my favourite fetish photographer of all time -- the late Elmer Batters.
My name is Vanessa de Largie and I'm the sex-columnist at Maxim Magazine. The Victress is my sex blog. It's a space where I can explore my ferocious sexual fantasies - unapologetically.